Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story Chapter 32

Chapter 32All for One, and swell up, You KnowThey capacity commit been the Magnificent Seven or the Seven Samurai. If separately of them had been a trained professional, a gunfighter with a character flaw, or a sm both warrior with a past or if each had a secret reason for joining a self-annihilation mission, an antiheros sense of justice, and a burning desire to gift things right they might carry become an elect fighting unit whose resourcefulness and courage would lead them to victory over those who would oppose or oppress. further the fact was, they were a disorganized bunch of perpetual adolescents, untrained and unprep atomic number 18d for anything save throwing stock and having sports universe the Animals.They sat on the registers as Tommy paced before them telling them close the vampire, ab turn emerge Simons death, and giving them the c every(prenominal) to activity while the emperor butterfly stood by quoting passages from Henry the Fifths speech at th e Battle of Agincourt.The cops arent going to believe it, and I faecest do it al iodine, Tommy verbalise.The Emperor state, We few, we lucky few So whos with me?The Animals didnt regularise a word.Barry, Tommy said, youre a scuba diver. Youve got just ab knocked discover(p) balls, right? Sure, youre balding and going to fat, barely this is a chance to make a difference.Barry looked at this shoes.Tommy jumped to pull, who hung his guide so that his greasy blond hair covered his heart. pull, you chip in the most complete knowledge of chemical science of any unitary Ive ever met. Its time to use it.Weve got a truck to unload, move said.Tommy moved to Clint stared into his thick glasses, ruffled his ringleted black hair. Clint, God wants you to do this. This vampire is fiendish incarnate. Sure, youre a for placeful burned out, but you can still strike a blow for righteousness.Blessed are the meek, said Clint.Jeff Tommy said. The big jock looked up, as if the key to the uni verse lay in the fluorescent lights. Jeff, youre big, youre dumb, your knee is blown out, but hey, man, you look rock-steady. We might be able to use that.Jeff began whistling.Tommy moved on. flip-flop, your mess have been oppressed for hundreds of years. Its time to strike suffer. Look, you dont have your MBA yet they havent completely juiced you of your usefulness yet. Would Martin Luther King back down from this challenge? Malcolm X? James brownness? Dont you have a dream? Dont you feel good, kindred you knew that you would, now?Lash shook his head. I have to study in the morning, man. troy weight lee(prenominal)? Samurai tradition? Youre the only trained fighter here.Im Chinese, not Japanese.Whatever. Youre a kung-fu guy. You can reach into a guys pocket and take his wallet before he knows its gone. No one has reflexes like you.Okay, Troy said.Tommy stopped on his way to the next man. Really?Sure, Ill help you. Simon was a good friend.Wow, Tommy said. He looked to Gust avo. Well?Gustavo shook his head.Viva Zapata Tommy said.Leave him alone, Troy Lee said. Hes got a family.Youre right, Tommy said. Sorry, Gustavo.Troy Lee got up and stood in comportment of the other Animals. But you lie withers. You worthless bags of cut across meat. If Simon could see you hed shoot all one of you. This could be the surmount party we ever had.Drew looked up. Party?Yeah, Troy Lee said, party. We swallow some brews, kick some ass, dismember some monsters maybe pick up some babes. Christ, Drew, who knows what harming of shit we could turn back into. And youre going to miss it.Im in, said Drew.Me too, said Barry.Troy looked at Jeff and Clint. Well? They nodded.Lash, you in?Okay, Lash said without conviction.Okay, Tommy said. Lets throw the truck. We cant start until morning anyway. Well figure out a plan and deposit some weapons then.Troy Lee held up a finger. One thing. How do we take note the vampire?Tommy said, Okay, lets lend to work.Morning found the Animals in the Safeway parking lot, drinking beer and discussing the strategy for obtaining and disposing of a monster.So, as far as you know, drugs dont affect them? Drew asked.I dont think so, Tommy said.Well, no wonder hes pissed glowering, Drew said.What about guns? Jeff asked. Ive got Simons shotgun at my house.Tommy thought for a moment before answering. They can be hurt I mean, damaged. But Jody heals incredibly fast this guy might even be faster. Still, Id rather have a twelve-gauge against him than nothing.Barry said, A stake through the heart always works in the movies.Tommy nodded. It might work. We could try it. If we get that far, we can cut him up, too.Spearguns, Barry said. Ive got three of them. A CO2 model and two that use elastics. They wont shoot far, but they might pin him down while we cut him up.Ive got a couple of short fighting swords, Troy Lee interjected. Razor sharp.Good, Tommy said. Bring em.Ill bring the Word, Glint said. Hed been shouting Get thee behind me, Satan, all night, putting the Animals on edge.Why dont you just go home and pray, Lash said, giving Glint a push. We pick out some action here. He turned from Glint and addressed the group. Look, guys, spearguns and swords are great, but how do we find this guy? The cops have been feel for him for three months, and they obviously havent had any luck. If hes really after Tommy, then the best thing we can do is ambush him at Tommys apartment. And Im not sure I want to face him when hes awake. Simon was my friend too, but he was also one of the quickest people I ever met and the vampire took him out like he was a baby. And the paper said that he was armed. I dont knowHes right, Drew said. Were fucked. Anyone want to catch the ferry to Sausalito and terrorize some yuppie artists? Ive got mushrooms.Shrooms Shrooms Shrooms the Animals chanted.Suddenly thither was a staccato clanging, like someone banging on a garbage-can lid with a stick, which is pretty much what it was. T he Emperor, who had been silent all night, stepped into the circle. Before your spines go to jelly, men, take heart. Ive been thinking.Oh, no someone shouted.I think I have a way to find the fiend and dispose of him before sundown.Right, Drew said sarcastically. How?The Emperor picked up Bummer and held out the little dog as if he were displaying the Holy Grail. Pound for pound, a better soldier never marched, and a better tracker never sniffed out a sewer rat. Ive been so stupid.Beg your pardon, Your Majesty, Tommy said. But what the fuck are you conferenceing about?Until last night I didnt know that the lovely young woman with whom you share your abode was a vampire. Yet every time we passed your building Bummer went into a frenzy. Hes been the same each time weve encountered the fiend himself. I believe he has a special sensitivity for the smell of vampires.They all stared at him, waiting.Gather your courage and your weapons, good fellows. Well meet here in two hours and remove this evil from my city. And a little dog shall lead us.The Animals looked at Tommy, who shrugged and nodded. They had a new leader now. cardinal hours, guys, Tommy said. The Emperors in charge.Cavuto watched the Animals disperse though his field glasses. He was sitting in the parking lot at castle Mason, a hundred yards from the Safeway. He put down the binoculars and dialed Riveras number on his cellular phone.Rivera.Anything hap there? Cavuto asked.No, I dont think that anything go away now that its daylight. The lights stayed off after the kid left, but I could hear a vacuum cleaner running. The girls up there but she didnt turn on the light.So she likes to clean in the dark.I think she can see in the dark.I dont want to talk about it, Cavuto said. Anything else?Not much. Some kids were dropping pebbles on me from the roof. The guys in the foundry below the kids apartment are moving more or less now. A couple of bums are doing some close-order public urinating in the alley. Whats happening there?The kid worked all night, drank some beers with the crew they just split up but the kid and the nutter are still here.Why dont you call in some relief?I dont want this out of our hands until we know more. Stay by the phone.Anything from the coroner?Yeah, just got off the phone with him. Massive livestock loss from the guy in the truck. None from the guy in the morgue. Heart attack. They still havent found the girls body.Thats because she was alter house all night.Gotta go, Cavuto said.Tommy and the Emperor were waiting in the parking lot when the Animals returned in Troy Lees Toyota and began set down equipment.Stop, stop, stop, Tommy said. We cant run all over the City with spearguns and swords.And shotguns, Jeff said proudly, jacking a shell into the chamber of Simons shotgun.Put that back in the car. No problem, Drew said, holding up a roll of Christmas wrap. Dallas, November 22, 1963.What? Tommy said.Lee Harvey Oswald walks into the book sediment with a Venetian blind. Minutes later Jackies scooping brains off the trunk of a Lincoln. Anybody asks, were all giving Venetian blinds to our moms for Christmas.Oh, Tommy said. Okay.Clint climbed out of the Toyota wearing a choir robe, a half dozen crosses hung nigh his neck. He held a Baggie full of crackers in one hand, a squirt gun in the other. Im ready, he said to Tommy and the Emperor.Snacks, Tommy said, nodding to the Baggie. Good thinking.The Heavenly Host, Clint said. He brandished the squirt gun. Loaded with holy water.That stuff doesnt work, Clint.O ye of little faith, Clint said.Bummer and Lazarus had left the Emperors side and were nosing up to Clint. See, they know the powerfulness of the Spirit.Just then Bummer jumped and snatched the Baggie, then took off around the corner of the store, followed closely by Lazarus, Clint, and the Emperor.Stop him, Clint shouted at an old man coming out of the store. Hes taken the body of Christ.Dont hurt him, the Emperor shouted. Hes t he only hope for saving the City.Tommy took off after them. As he passed the bewildered old man, Tommy said, Last week they were playing cards with Elvis.What can I theorise?The old man seemed to accept this and hurried off.Tommy caught up with them behind the store, where the Emperor was holding Bummer in one hand and fending off Clint with his wooden sword with the other, while Lazarus licked the last few crumbs out of the lacerate plastic bag.He ate the blessed Savior Clint wailed. He ate the blessed SaviorTommy caught Clint around the waist and pulled him away. Its okay, Clint. Bummers a Christian.Jeff rounded the corner, his size-fourteen Reeboks clomping like a quarter horse. He looked at the empty Baggie. Oh, I get it. They freeze-dried him, right?Drew came around the corner, followed by Lash and Troy Lee.Do we have a partying platoon, or what? Drew said.Jeff said, I never knew that they freeze-dried Jesus, did you?Lash checked his watch. Weve got less than cardinal hours before it gets dark. Maybe we should get started.Tommy released Clint and the Emperor lowered his sword.We pick up something to give Bummer the scent, the Emperor said. Something that the fiend has touched.Tommy take into his jeans pocket and pulled out one of the hundreds that Jody had given him. Im pretty sure that he touched this, but its been a while.The Emperor took the hundred and held it to Bummers nose. It shouldnt matter. His senses are keen and his heart is righteous. To Bummer he said, This is the scent, little one. Find this scent.He put Bummer down and the little dog was off with a yap and a snort. The vampire hunters followed, losing sight of Bummer as he rounded the store. When they came around to the front of the store, the manager was coming out, holding a snarling Bummer in his arms.Flood, is this your dog?Hes his own man, the Emperor said.Well, he just ran in and blew snot all over the cash in register eight. You train him to find money?The Emperor looked down t o the hundred-dollar bill in his hand, then at Tommy. Perhaps we should find something else to put him on the scent.Where was the last place you saw the vampire? Tommy asked.The gate rampart at the Saint Francis Yacht Club wasnt buying a word of it.Really, Tommy said. Were here to decorate for the Christmas party. The Animals waved their gaily wrapped weapons to illustrate the point. And the Archbishop has come along to perform midnight mass. Tommy pointed to Clint, who grinned and winked through his thick glasses.Deus ex machina, Clint said, exhausting his Latin. Shalom, he added for good measure.The guard tapped his clipboard. Im sorry, gentlemen, I cant let you through without a membership or a lymph node pass.The Emperor cleared his throat royally. Good man, each moment you delay may be stipendiary for with human suffering.The guard thought that he might have just been threatened, hoped, in fact, that he had, so he could pull his gun, and was just letting his hand drop to his gun belt when the phone in the gate booth rang.Stay here, he instructed the vampire hunters. He answered the phone and nodded at it, then looked across Marina Boulevard to where a brown Dodge was parked. He hung up the phone and came out of the booth.Go on in, he said, obviously not happy about it. He pushed a button, the gate rose, and the Animals went in, headed for the East Harbor. Two minutes later the brown Dodge pulled up and stopped by the gate. Cavuto rolled down the windowpane and flashed his badge.Thanks, he said to the guard. Ill nourishment an eye on them for you.No problem, said the guard. You ever get to shoot anyone?Not today. Cavuto said. He drove though the gate, staying just out of sight of the Animals.At the end of the docking facility the Animals and the Emperor stared forlornly at the big white motor yacht moored a hundred yards out into the harbor. Bummer was in the midst of a yapping fit.You see, said the Emperor, he knows that the fiend is aboard.Youre sur e thats the boat that he came off of?Most definitely. It chills my spine to think of it the mist forming into a monster.Thats great, Tommy said, but how do we get aboard? He turned to Barry, who was applying sunscreen to his bald spot. Can you swim it?We could all swim it, Barry said. But how do we keep the gun dry? I could go get my Zodiac and take us all out there, but itll take a while.How long?Maybe an hour.Weve got four, maybe five hours until sunset, Lash said.Go, Tommy said. Get it.No, wait, said Drew, looking at the rows of yachts in the nearby slips. Jeff, can you swim?The big power forward shook his head. Nope.Good, Drew said. He took the Christmas-paper-wrapped shotgun from Jeff, then grabbed him by the arm and threw him into the water. Man overboard Man overboard We lead a boat.The few owners and crew members who were performing maintenance on the nearby boats looked up. Drew spotted a good-sized life raft on the stern of a sixty-footer. There, you guys, get that.The Animals scrambled after the raft. The yachts crew helped them get it over the side into the water.Jeff, flailing in the water, had slapped his way back to the dock. Drew pushed him away with the shotgun. Not yet, big guy. over his shoulder he shouted, Hurry, you guys Hes drowningTommy, Barry, and Lash were paddling the rubber raft for all they were worth. The yachtsmen and the Emperor shouted instructions, while Drew and Troy Lee watched their friend trying not to drown.Hes doing really well for a non-swimmer, Drew said calmly.Doesnt want to get his hair wet, said Troy with Taoist simplicity.Yeah, cant waste that two hours of blow-drying.Tommy moved to the front of the raft and held his paddle out to Jeff. Grab it.Jeff flailed and thrashed, but didnt grab the paddle.If he stops paddling his head will go under, Troy called. Youll have to grab him.Tommy whacked Jeff on the head with the plastic paddle. Grab it The power forward slipped under for a second and bobbed to the surface ag ain.Thats one Drew called.Now grab it, Tommy yelled. He raised the paddle as if to strike again. Jeff shook his head violently and reached for the paddle as he went under again.Thats twoTommy pulled the paddle up with Jeff on the end while Barry and Lash wrestled the big man into the boat.Well done, men, the Emperor said.The yachtsmen stood at the end of the dock, watching in amazement. Drew turned to them. Were going to need that raft for a while, okay?One of the crewmen started to protest and Drew jacked a shell into the shotgun, ripping the swathe paper. Big shark hunt. We need the raft.The crewman nodded and backed away. Sure, as long as you need it.Okay, Tommy called. Everybody in the raft.Drew and Troy Lee helped the Emperor get into the raft, then handed over Bummer and Lazarus and climbed in themselves. The Emperor stood at the front of the raft as they made their way across the harbor to the Sanguine II. cardinal yards from the yacht Bummer began barking and bouncing aroun d the raft. The fiend is definitely on board, the Emperor said. He picked up Bummer and shoved him into his pocket. Well done, little one.It took five minutes to get everyone on board and the life raft secured to the stern. How we doing on time, Lash? Tommy asked.Were looking at four, maybe four and a half hours of daylight. Will he wake up at sunset or dark?Jody usually wakes up right at sunset. So lets say four.Okay, everybody, Tommy said, lets spread out and find the vampire.I dont know if thats a good idea, said Jeff. He was go down and his lips had gone blue with the cold. The Animals looked at him. He was embarrassed by the attention. Well, in all of the horror movies, the people split up and the monster picks them off one by one.Good point, Tommy said. Everybody stay together find this fucker and get it over with. He raised a gift-wrapped spear-gun in salute. For SimonFor Simon the Animals shouted as they followed Tommy below.